Last night we had our book launch at the Massey University Centre of Psychology. We had a great night and a more than a few giggles over the fact our book hadn’t actually arrived from the publisher!! We did have our cover to show off however and the book will be out in a few weeks. We have given you are a taste of what it’s about below – if you want to read try www.amazon.comand order your copy online, it won’t be there yet but it is coming. We will tell you exactly when on our website www.schoolandmore.co.nz .
It’s over forty years ago, since my only brother connected a hose pipe from his car exhaust and breathed in the fatal fumes. This was back in 1969 and there weren’t any support groups to turn to for help. Even if there had been, I couldn’t have poured out my feelings. Why? Because I didn’t really know what they were. I did know that I was weighed down and stunned and crushed and angry and so very confused. I somehow focused on making it his problem, or my Mother’s, never mine. I didn’t want to be victim or an object of pity; I didn’t want to be different. Was this a determined action to protect and defend myself? Probably.
Nobody wanted to talk about it, least of all me, so I put my grief into a little box and hid it somewhere in the back of my head. It’s taken this long for me to be able to talk and write about it.
Suddenly it seemed that now the time was right. I felt I had enough distance to look back to that terrible time. I began to evaluate how I had coped and I looked at the effect his suicide had had on my life. I wondered if my experiences could be of any help to others. I talked to Julie and she told me about her experiences with her daughter’s brain injury. We realized there were so many other people in families not a million miles away, who had also had life changing experiences. How did these people get through them? How had they coped? What had they found that was helpful? What had they done that was helpful, whom did they talk to? We wanted to know. And that was how we began our book.
When Sylvia was 11 years old she fell at school and banged her head.
Running to get into line for PE she tripped over and hit her frontal lobe on hard ground. And so it began. Days, then months grew into years fighting to get our girl her life back.
She never slept; she screamed and raged and swore – anywhere and at anyone. Light hurt her eyes, she forgot everything, hated school, hated friends, hated us. She overdosed on painkillers twice. She vomited , binge ate , shaved off her beautiful thick curly red hair. She was so flat and silent sometimes we knew she hung on by the tiniest thread. We were , all of us , fighting for her life.
Sometimes we had glimpses our beautiful girl and so did she. Rare moments of calm before plunging back into the maelstrom of confusion, grief , shock and barely suppressed panic.
We didn’t know a lot about brain injury and post-concussion syndrome or depression / anxiety once upon a time. That was many years ago.
Our book has eight “ stories” . The huge challenges many people have wrestled with silently and alone. Like us they battled on, unsure what was happening , what it was about and what they should do. Wondering if they were flawed or faulty or in some way to blame. Isolated by shame and without the words they needed to make sense of their world
These stories have given them a voice. We hope it speaks to those who also find themselves alone, afraid and overwhelmed.
That families, teachers, workmate , neighbours and communities find the courage to reach out to that are “different.” When we take the time to understand the stories of other lives ,to get involved, we truly understand that tiny acts of genuine kindness change the world.
We have made no references to any specific country because we think these are the stories of people everywhere. Many of the people whose stories we tell have chosen to remain anonymous but they are true and accurate stories of their lives. We are proud of their courage in speaking out so that others might know and perhaps recognise their own situation within these stories.
Finally we have provided practical and positive advice from the experts in their field and these are interwoven through the stories.
You do not have to do this alone.
Useful links
Our website has some useful links and resources that might help if you are looking for additional support. In particular, see our information on depression, anxiety and suicide.
