One of New Zealand’s parenting classics, He’ll Be OK by legendary Celia Lashlie has been published in a special new edition to mark ten years since its original release. When Celia Lashlie died last year, it was almost like a new generation of parents were made aware of her work – and so this is a timely tribute to her work and its timeless relevance.
I’m liking
Utilising her knowledge from many years of prison work and witnessing how at-risk children became so, Celia Lashlie conducted research in boys schools to see what patterns existed and how boys expressed themselves. This work empowers families to understand young men, ensures that in raising them they don’t feel alone, and reassures them about keeping boys safe while allowing them time to develop into good men. Celia’s obvious commitment to seeing boys raised in such a way that their typical path to manhood was recognised by parents and teachers alike is both unique and refreshing.
There is no pretense in this parenting book (nor is there the usual behavioural psychology accompanying parenting books), it is really just a presentation of what Lashlie learned during her research and personal experiences, and a grouping of similar reactions to questions that were posed to the boys with a few anecdotes and references thrown in along the way. I’ve not ever read anything else quite like it.
The conclusion
As a parent raising two young boys, I have found this book to forecast the years ahead in a relatively clear way which has given me confidence. He’ll Be OK does not deny the complexities inherent in sharing adolescent-hood with boys – but having talked to 180 classes of boys, obviously the similarities within groups was overwhelming. Lashlie presents ‘insights into what boys need, and what parents can do to help them’ (from rear cover) which mean you can do your best to ensure they’re OK.
I can remember seeing Lashlie interviewed on a current affairs programme a couple of years ago – she noted how we can’t prevent everything, but if we delay a boy’s natural development through adolescence they will still need to play that out at some point – and the older they get, the more dangerous that is likely to become. It’s stuck with me, and reading He’ll Be OK has filled in the gaps of my understanding as to why this comment was made. Highly recommended for parents and teachers of young men.
The original edition of He’ll Be OK is still also available.
