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Ever find yourself staring at your kids in disbelief, wondering how they’ve gone from tiny, helpless bundles of joy to full-blown little humans with opinions, preferences, and—dare I say—attitudes? I remember vividly the moment my eldest, then just five, looked me dead in the eyes and declared, “Mom, I can’t wear that shirt! It’s not fabulous!” Fabulous? Where did she even learn that word? It was a hilarious yet alarming sign that she was starting to express her unique personality.

As a mom of two girls—now five and nine years old—I’ve navigated the ever-changing landscape of childhood behavior and development. Each year brings its own set of milestones, challenges, and unforgettable moments that keep me on my toes. If you’re in the thick of raising a child between ages five and ten, buckle up! This journey is wild, unpredictable, and incredibly rewarding. Let’s dive into what you can expect during these transformative years!

5-Year-Old Behavior

Ah, the glorious age of five! You’ve finally made it through the toddler tantrums and the never-ending diaper changes, and now you’re greeted with a delightful mix of newfound independence and a sprinkle of sass. At this stage, your five-year-old is becoming a little more like a sponge, soaking up everything around them, and trust me, they’re not afraid to express their thoughts and feelings—loudly and proudly!

The Physical Flourish

Five-year-olds are bursting with energy, and their physical skills are rapidly improving. If you’ve ever watched your child run, jump, and climb like a tiny tornado, you know exactly what I mean. By age five, many children can:

  • Master gross motor skills: They can run, hop, skip, and even balance on one foot. My daughter, Ella, once decided to show off her newfound skills by jumping off the couch—a classic ‘look, mom, no hands!’ moment that nearly gave me a heart attack. Watching her soar through the air (and land safely, thank goodness) made me realise just how confident she’d become in her physical abilities.
  • Improve fine motor skills: They’re starting to write their names and can use scissors with more precision. Ella started making her own art projects, complete with glitter and glue, which often resulted in sparkles covering every surface in the house—bonus points for creativity, minus a few for the clean-up.

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Outdoor Play: Encourage outdoor activities that allow them to run, climb, and explore. Parks, playgrounds, and even your backyard can be a treasure trove of adventure!
  • Arts and Crafts: Engage them in arts and crafts to enhance their fine motor skills. Scissor practice is a fun way to prepare them for future school projects (and let’s be honest, it’ll keep them busy for hours).

The Cognitive Explosion

Around this age, your little one’s brain is a flurry of activity. They’re asking questions left and right, trying to make sense of the world around them. “Why is the sky blue?” “Where do babies come from?” Trust me, prepare for the onslaught of questions that will have you Googling answers in a panic!

  • Language Development: Five-year-olds often begin stringing together sentences and might even surprise you with their vocabulary. I remember the day Ella came home from kindergarten and used the word “extraordinary” in casual conversation. I had to stifle a laugh because I was just as amazed as she was!
  • Imagination and Creativity: Their imagination is boundless at this age. They might spend hours creating elaborate stories and scenarios, whether it’s playing dress-up as a superhero or staging a tea party for their stuffed animals. Just be prepared for some pretty outlandish stories about talking unicorns and flying dinosaurs!

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Read Together: Make reading a daily ritual. Books expand their vocabulary and fuel their imagination. Let them pick out stories, and don’t be surprised if they insist on reading the same book multiple times.
  • Encourage Questions: Foster their curiosity by encouraging them to ask questions and explore new ideas. If they want to know why the grass is green, dive into that topic together—turn it into a fun science experiment!

The Social/Emotional Landscape

By age five, your child’s emotional world is expanding rapidly. They are learning to navigate friendships, understand feelings, and express themselves in new ways.

  • Developing Friendships: Playdates become more significant, and suddenly, having a best friend is the center of their universe. Ella started having playdates where they’d engage in dramatic play, often leading to moments where someone would inevitably end up in tears over a toy.
  • Understanding Emotions: They are beginning to identify and express their feelings more clearly. One day, Ella came up to me, lip quivering, and said, “Mom, I feel sad.” I knelt down and asked her why, and we talked about it—turns out her friend had taken her favorite toy during recess. This was a breakthrough moment where I realised how much she needed to articulate her emotions.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Teach Emotional Vocabulary: Help your child label their feelings. Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel upset when your friend doesn’t share,” to validate their emotions and encourage discussion.
  • Role-Playing: Use role-play to help them practice social interactions and problem-solving. Set up scenarios with toys to model sharing and cooperation.

Potential Challenges of Age 5

As enchanting as five can be, it’s not without its challenges. You may notice:

  • Testing Boundaries: With newfound independence comes the urge to push limits. You might hear the phrase, “But I want to do it myself!” a lot. Ella was notorious for trying to dress herself, resulting in some interesting fashion choices—hello, mismatched socks and shirts on backwards!
  • Emotional Outbursts: Expect some tantrums, especially when they don’t get their way. Remember, it’s all part of learning how to navigate big feelings.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Stay Calm: When they push back, take a deep breath and remember that this is a phase. Responding calmly will help model emotional regulation.
  • Consistency is Key: Be consistent with your rules and consequences. Children thrive when they know what to expect.

6-Year-Old Behavior

At six years old, your child is a whirlwind of energy, enthusiasm, and—let’s be honest—occasional sass. This is the age where they start to develop a stronger sense of self and a desire for independence, but they still very much need your guidance and support.

The Physical Evolution

As children transition into age six, their physical skills become even more refined.

  • Mastering Coordination: Six-year-olds can kick a ball, ride a bike, and hop with ease. Ella transitioned from training wheels to riding without them, and the joy on her face was priceless. I was equal parts proud and terrified as she zipped around the park, wind in her hair, a tiny speed demon!
  • Fine Motor Skills Flourish: Their ability to manipulate objects improves, allowing for more complex tasks like writing, drawing, and even simple cooking activities. If you find your child suddenly obsessed with helping in the kitchen, embrace it!

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Sports and Physical Activities: Introduce them to sports or physical activities. Whether it’s soccer, swimming, or dance, physical engagement helps them develop coordination and teamwork skills.
  • Arts and Crafts Projects: Keep the art supplies stocked! Encourage drawing, painting, and even simple cooking activities to hone their fine motor skills.

The Cognitive Adventure

By age six, your child’s brain is in overdrive, absorbing knowledge like a sponge.

  • Expanding Vocabulary: They can express their thoughts more clearly and may start asking more complex questions. Expect “How does this work?” or “Why do we have to do that?” regularly. Ella once asked me, “Mom, why can’t we just fly to school?” I couldn’t help but laugh!
  • Problem-Solving Skills: They begin to develop critical thinking skills and may start to understand cause-and-effect relationships. Whether it’s figuring out how to open a tricky toy box or solving a simple puzzle, this age is all about experimentation.

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Encourage Exploration: Provide opportunities for hands-on learning experiences. Visit museums, zoos, or nature trails, and let their curiosity guide the way.
  • Introduce Board Games: Playing age-appropriate board games can enhance problem-solving skills and critical thinking while also providing a great bonding experience.

The Social/Emotional Journey

Socially and emotionally, six-year-olds are navigating friendships, understanding feelings, and learning to cooperate with others.

  • Friendships Matter: Friendships become increasingly important at this age, and children may begin to form more defined social circles. Ella’s first best friend was a girl named Mia, and the two were inseparable, often getting into silly mischief together.
  • Navigating Emotions: They are beginning to understand their own emotions and those of others. Ella had her first experience with empathy when Mia was upset about losing her favorite toy. Watching Ella console her friend made my heart swell with pride.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Discuss Friendships: Encourage open conversations about friendships and emotions. Ask about their day and who they played with to foster communication.
  • Role-Playing: Use role-playing to teach important social skills, such as sharing and empathy. It can be fun to act out scenarios with toys or dolls.

Potential Challenges of Age 6

While six can be a joyous age, it’s not without its trials.

  • Defiance: The urge to assert independence can lead to challenges. “No, I won’t do it!” becomes a common refrain. Ella once adamantly refused to wear her coat on a chilly day, resulting in a spirited negotiation over the importance of staying warm.
  • Emotional Outbursts: You may still see tantrums, especially when they’re tired or hungry. It’s essential to recognize the signs of emotional fatigue and give them space when needed.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Stay Consistent: Consistency in rules and routines helps children feel secure and understand expectations.
  • Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise good behavior and efforts to encourage positive choices rather than focusing solely on negative actions.

7-Year-Old Behavior

Welcome to the vibrant world of seven-year-olds! This is a magical age where kids start to embrace independence while still relying on your guidance and support.

The Physical Growth Spurt

Seven is a time of increased energy and coordination, and you may notice your child’s physical skills developing at an impressive rate.

  • Active Bodies: Your seven-year-old will likely be running, jumping, and playing with confidence. Ella’s love for sports blossomed at this age, and she joined a local soccer team. Watching her score her first goal was one of those proud mom moments I’ll treasure forever.
  • Fine Motor Skills: They’ll be able to perform more complex tasks, such as tying their shoelaces and using utensils with skill. Ella once decided to bake cookies entirely by herself, and while the results were questionable (let’s just say we didn’t win any baking awards), the pride on her face was priceless.

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Encourage Participation in Sports: Involve them in team sports or physical activities that match their interests. The social skills and teamwork they learn will be invaluable.
  • Creative Projects: Engage them in activities that require fine motor skills, such as crafting, building, or even cooking!

The Cognitive Adventure

By age seven, your child’s cognitive abilities are evolving rapidly.

  • Critical Thinking: Seven-year-olds are often curious about how the world works. Ella’s questions ranged from “How do airplanes fly?” to “What makes rainbows?” We’d often have fun researching together, turning learning into a delightful adventure.
  • Complex Problem Solving: They begin to grasp more complex concepts in school. Math problems that once seemed insurmountable are now within their reach, and Ella was so proud when she solved her first word problem.

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Encourage Learning Beyond School: Foster curiosity by exploring subjects that interest them. Whether it’s dinosaurs, space, or art, encourage them to dive deeper.
  • Use Games for Learning: Incorporate educational games that promote critical thinking and problem-solving. Card games, board games, or puzzles can be great tools for learning.

The Social/Emotional Realm

The social and emotional growth at age seven can be both exciting and challenging.

  • Friendship Dynamics: At this age, friendships become more complex. Ella started to navigate friendships with care, often coming home with stories about her friends’ latest dramas, which could rival any soap opera!
  • Emotional Intelligence: Seven-year-olds are beginning to understand empathy and the importance of feelings. I’ll never forget the time Ella comforted a friend who was upset, demonstrating a depth of understanding that melted my heart.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Encourage Communication: Foster an open dialogue about feelings and friendships. Ask about their day and any issues they may have faced with friends.
  • Model Empathy: Teach empathy by discussing emotions and encouraging them to consider how others might feel in different situations.

Potential Challenges of Age 7

As with every age, seven comes with its unique set of challenges.

  • Testing Limits: Expect your child to push boundaries as they assert their independence. Ella once challenged me by asking why she couldn’t stay up late, leading to an enlightening discussion about the importance of sleep.
  • Mood Swings: Emotional ups and downs can be common. Recognizing when they’re tired or overwhelmed can help prevent meltdowns.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Stay Patient: Understand that testing limits is part of their development. Respond calmly to challenges and provide clear explanations for your rules.
  • Encourage Self-Regulation: Teach them strategies to manage their emotions. Techniques like deep breathing can help during moments of frustration.

8-Year-Old Behavior

The age of eight brings a delightful mix of maturity and silliness. Your child is developing their sense of identity while still craving fun and adventure.

The Physical Development Phase

Eight-year-olds are usually bursting with energy and physical abilities.

  • Sports and Activities: At this age, they may excel in sports and develop specific interests. Ella took a keen interest in basketball, and watching her practice shooting hoops brought back memories of my own childhood sports days.
  • Increased Coordination: They can participate in more complex physical activities. Whether it’s biking, swimming, or even dancing, eight-year-olds are often eager to try new things.

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Support Interests: Encourage your child to explore various sports and activities. Let them try different things until they find what they truly enjoy.
  • Active Family Time: Make physical activity a family affair. Weekend hikes, bike rides, or dance parties in the living room can be great ways to stay active together.

The Cognitive Journey

By eight, your child’s cognitive abilities are expanding, and they start to think critically.

  • Complex Thinking: Eight-year-olds can grasp more abstract concepts and often enjoy discussing their thoughts on various subjects. Ella’s fascination with space turned into a two-week exploration where we watched documentaries and even built a model solar system together.
  • Problem-Solving Skills: They can tackle more complex problems, and you may notice them getting frustrated less often when faced with challenges. Encouraging this independence in learning can lead to huge boosts in confidence.

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Encourage Exploration: Foster their curiosity by exploring new topics together. Take trips to the library or museum and let them choose what to learn about.
  • Creative Projects: Involve them in hands-on projects that require planning and execution. Whether it’s a science fair project or a family art night, let them lead the way.

The Social/Emotional Landscape

At eight, your child’s social interactions become more intricate.

  • Friendship Dynamics: Friendships may deepen, and they may start forming closer bonds with specific friends. Ella’s best friend became a partner in crime for school projects and sleepovers, and watching their friendship grow was heartwarming.
  • Understanding Emotions: Eight-year-olds are beginning to understand the complexities of feelings. They may express their emotions more clearly, which can lead to some enlightening discussions about empathy and kindness.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Discuss Friendships: Create a space for them to talk about their friendships. Encourage discussions about resolving conflicts and valuing friendship.
  • Teach Emotional Vocabulary: Help them articulate their feelings and recognize the feelings of others. Phrases like, “How do you think that made your friend feel?” can encourage empathy.

Potential Challenges of Age 8

While age eight can be an exciting time, it can also present challenges.

  • Friendship Conflicts: As friendships grow deeper, conflicts may arise. Ella came home upset when she and her best friend had a falling out over a miscommunication. Encouraging her to talk it out helped her learn valuable conflict resolution skills.
  • Mood Swings: Expect emotional ups and downs as they learn to navigate their world. Recognizing the signs of frustration can help you intervene before a meltdown.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Stay Involved: Keep communication lines open. Ask about their friendships and any challenges they might be facing.
  • Promote Conflict Resolution: Encourage them to talk about their feelings and help them find solutions. Role-playing can be an effective way to practice resolving conflicts.

9-Year-Old Behavior

Welcome to the enchanting world of nine-year-olds! At this age, your child is likely to be more independent, curious, and ready to explore the world on their own terms.

The Physical Abilities

Nine-year-olds are typically energetic, and their physical abilities are evolving rapidly.

  • Sports Skills: They may develop specific skills in sports or activities they enjoy. Ella joined a swim team this year, and seeing her practice and compete was a proud moment for me as a parent.
  • Greater Coordination: Nine-year-olds are often more adept at sports and physical activities, exhibiting improved balance and strength. Whether it’s playing basketball or dancing, you’ll notice them pushing themselves physically.

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Promote Active Interests: Encourage them to participate in sports or physical activities they show interest in. Whether it’s soccer, swimming, or martial arts, let them find their passion.
  • Family Fitness: Engage in family activities that promote health and fitness. Bike rides, hiking, or even dance-offs at home can be fun for everyone.

The Cognitive Challenge

At nine, your child’s cognitive abilities are expanding, and they’re beginning to think more critically.

  • Curiosity Unleashed: Nine-year-olds are often curious about the world around them, asking questions that can lead to great discussions. Ella often brings home interesting facts she learned in school, and we love discussing them at dinner.
  • Abstract Thinking: They begin to grasp more abstract concepts, which can be seen in their conversations and interactions. Ella started to express her thoughts on moral dilemmas in stories, which led to some intriguing family debates.

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Encourage Critical Thinking: Foster their curiosity by discussing a variety of topics. Encourage them to ask questions and explore answers together.
  • Hands-On Learning: Engage in projects that allow them to experiment and problem-solve. Whether it’s a science project or a creative art project, let them take the lead.

The Social/Emotional Journey

Nine-year-olds are navigating friendships, emotions, and self-identity.

  • Friendship Circles: Social dynamics become more intricate as they start to form close-knit friendship groups. Ella’s circle of friends began to expand, leading to deeper discussions about loyalty and support.
  • Increased Empathy: At this age, children often begin to show greater empathy and understanding of others’ feelings. Watching Ella comfort a friend going through a tough time was a beautiful moment that filled me with pride.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Foster Open Communication: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing friendships and emotions. Encourage them to share their feelings with you.
  • Model Empathy: Show them how to be empathetic by discussing feelings and encouraging kind actions. Volunteer work or helping a friend can reinforce these lessons.

Potential Challenges of Age 9

While age nine can be a wonderful time, it does come with challenges.

  • Navigating Social Conflicts: As friendships become more complex, conflicts can arise. Ella faced challenges with a friend who was feeling left out, and we worked through it together by discussing the importance of inclusion.
  • Emotional Fluctuations: You may notice emotional ups and downs as they learn to navigate their identities and friendships. Being available for discussions can help them process their feelings.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Encourage Reflection: Help them reflect on their emotions and experiences. Discuss what they can learn from conflicts and how they can grow.
  • Promote Positive Friendships: Encourage them to surround themselves with supportive friends. Discuss what qualities make a good friend and how to be one.

10-Year-Old Behavior

Ah, the fabulous age of ten! Your child is likely becoming more independent, and they may start to assert their individuality in exciting ways.

The Physical Triumphs

At ten years old, your child’s physical abilities can be quite impressive.

  • Increased Strength and Coordination: They can tackle complex physical activities with confidence. Whether it’s participating in team sports or mastering dance routines, ten-year-olds often shine in their physical pursuits. Ella recently performed in a dance recital, and watching her on stage, confident and graceful, was a moment I’ll never forget.
  • Exploration of New Activities: Ten is a great age to encourage them to try new activities. Ella took an interest in rock climbing this year, and seeing her conquer her fears was incredibly rewarding.

Tips for Encouraging Physical Development:

  • Support Interests: Encourage your child to explore various activities, whether it’s sports, dance, or outdoor adventures. Let them lead the way and discover what they love.
  • Family Fitness Fun: Engage in family activities that promote health and fitness. Weekend hikes or outdoor sports days can be a great way to bond while staying active.

The Cognitive Challenge

Ten-year-olds are often filled with curiosity and a desire to learn.

  • Independent Learning: Your child may start to take charge of their learning experiences. Ella often asked to do research projects on topics she found fascinating, like space exploration, leading to fun family discussions.
  • Critical Thinking Skills: They’re developing critical thinking skills and can analyze situations more logically. Conversations at the dinner table may become a debate arena as they share their opinions and challenge ideas.

Tips for Cognitive Growth:

  • Foster Independence: Encourage them to take charge of their learning by allowing them to choose projects or topics that interest them. Support their curiosity by exploring those topics together.
  • Encourage Discussions: Engage in discussions about current events, books, or any topic of interest. This not only fosters critical thinking but also helps build communication skills.

The Social/Emotional Landscape

At ten, your child’s social interactions become increasingly important.

  • Friendship Dynamics: Friendships may deepen, and they might start to experience the complexities of social interactions. Ella’s friendships evolved into meaningful connections where they supported each other through challenges.
  • Understanding of Emotions: Ten-year-olds are often more aware of their feelings and those of others. They may exhibit empathy and kindness more consistently. I witnessed Ella helping a friend who was upset, reminding me of how far she’s come in understanding emotions.

Tips for Supporting Social/Emotional Development:

  • Encourage Communication: Foster open discussions about friendships and emotions. Ask about their day and who they interacted with to help them process their experiences.
  • Model Empathy: Teach them the importance of empathy by discussing how their actions affect others. Encourage kindness and support in friendships.

Potential Challenges of Age 10

While age ten can be an exciting time, it does come with its challenges.

  • Navigating Peer Pressure: As they grow older, peer pressure may become a concern. Ella faced a situation where a friend wanted her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with, and we discussed how to handle such pressures.
  • Identity Exploration: Children at this age may start to explore their identity and how they fit into their social circles. This can lead to moments of uncertainty and self-doubt.

Tips for Managing Challenges:

  • Foster Open Dialogue: Create an environment where they feel comfortable discussing their feelings and experiences. Encourage them to share their thoughts on peer pressure and identity.
  • Encourage Self-Confidence: Help them build self-esteem by celebrating their achievements and supporting their interests. Encourage them to be true to themselves.

When to Seek Help for Child Behavior in 5 – 10-Year-Olds

Ah, the age of wonder! Children between five and ten years old are often filled with curiosity, energy, and a zest for life. However, along with all that joy, this age group can also present its fair share of behavioral challenges. As a parent, it’s crucial to know when those typical tantrums or mood swings may require a bit more attention. Let’s dive into some common behavioral issues and explore when it’s time to reach out for help.

Understanding Typical Behavior vs. Troubling Behavior

First, let’s clarify what is considered typical behavior for kids in this age group. Children are learning to navigate their emotions, assert their independence, and interact with peers. You may see:

  • Mood Swings: It’s common for kids to experience sudden emotional outbursts.
  • Tantrums: Frustration over not getting their way can lead to classic tantrums, especially if they’re tired or hungry.
  • Social Challenges: Navigating friendships can be tricky, leading to occasional conflicts.

However, if your child exhibits behaviors that seem excessive or out of the ordinary, it may be time to seek help.

Signs It’s Time to Seek Help

  1. Frequent and Intense Tantrums: If your child is having tantrums that last longer than typical or occur multiple times a day, it might indicate an underlying issue. Kids usually express their frustrations, but if they’re struggling to calm down after an outburst, it may be time to explore further.
  2. Difficulty Managing Emotions: If your child seems to have extreme reactions to everyday situations—like screaming over minor disappointments or becoming inconsolable—it’s a sign they might need help in developing emotional regulation skills.
  3. Social Isolation: If your child is withdrawing from friends or avoids social interactions, this could signal anxiety or low self-esteem. Social skills are vital at this age, and being overly isolated may hinder their development.
  4. Aggressive Behavior: If your child exhibits frequent aggressive behaviors, such as hitting, biting, or bullying other kids, it’s essential to address this behavior immediately. Teaching healthy ways to express frustration is crucial.
  5. Difficulty in School: Struggling with academic tasks or consistently receiving poor reports from teachers may indicate learning difficulties or behavioral challenges that need professional evaluation.
  6. Changes in Sleep or Appetite: Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns can be red flags. If your child is having nightmares, refusing to sleep alone, or experiencing a sudden decrease in appetite, these could be signs of emotional distress.
  7. Reverting to Earlier Behaviors: If your child starts to regress—like wetting the bed after being potty trained or needing a pacifier again—it might suggest stress or anxiety in their environment.

When to Take Action

If you notice one or more of the signs mentioned above, it’s time to take action. Here are some steps to consider:

  • Talk to Your Pediatrician: Your first point of contact should be your child’s pediatrician. They can provide insights and referrals to child psychologists or counselors if needed.
  • Consult a Child Psychologist: A child psychologist can conduct evaluations to determine if there are underlying issues contributing to the behaviors. They can also offer therapeutic strategies tailored to your child’s needs.
  • Consider Family Counseling: Sometimes, family dynamics can affect a child’s behavior. Family counseling can help improve communication and relationships within the home, providing a supportive environment for your child.

What to Expect from Professional Help

When seeking help for behavioral issues, you might be wondering what the process looks like. Here’s a breakdown of what to expect:

  1. Initial Evaluation: A mental health professional will conduct an evaluation to assess your child’s behavior, emotional state, and family dynamics. This may include interviews, questionnaires, and observations.
  2. Therapeutic Approaches: Depending on the evaluation, the therapist may suggest various therapeutic approaches, such as play therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or parent training.
  3. Parent Involvement: Parents play a crucial role in the therapeutic process. You may be involved in sessions to learn techniques for supporting your child’s emotional development at home.
  4. Progress Monitoring: Regular check-ins with the therapist will help monitor your child’s progress and adjust strategies as needed.

Next Steps

As I reflect on the incredible journey of raising my two girls, now five and nine, I’m filled with gratitude for the moments of joy, laughter, and even the challenges we’ve faced together. From Ella’s fabulous proclamations about clothing to her emotional wisdom in comforting friends, every stage has brought its own unique lessons.

As parents, we can take actionable steps to support our children through these years. Embrace open communication, encourage exploration, and celebrate their individuality. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey! Engage with your community of fellow parents, share experiences, and lean on each other for support.

Let’s continue to foster love, understanding, and growth in our children, and perhaps find some humor in the chaos along the way. After all, every tantrum, every heartfelt moment, and every giggle is a step toward raising confident, caring, and capable individuals. So grab a cup of coffee (or chocolate, no judgment here!) and cherish every beautiful, messy moment of this parenting adventure!

Related Reading

The Ultimate Guide to Understanding and Managing Child Behaviour

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Diane Levy’s warm, humorous, practical and commonsense approach to raising children is evident in her writing, her speaking and her private practice in Auckland as a family therapist. Her main focus is on coaching parents. She is also the author of the best-seller “Of course I love you…NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM”, “They look so lovely when they’re asleep” and “Time Out for tots, teens and everyone in between."

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Hanna Shanks

hi no i disgree with you guys

Farid

Are you searching for information and advice to help you as a parent to understand and help with a particular child behaviour problem or issue? Five year old tantrums?

hguhf

the good news is the
improvements have continued (there have been a couple blips of course
(as he’s a 6 yr old boy!) but even they are better!) , and we really are
back with the child he was before the introduction to schooling. and he
took responsibility for this.
العاب دورا
العاب tt4
العاب 2016
العاب hguhf
العاب al3ab

frivcu

I fail to see how telling a child “no” when they are doing something dangerous is trying to force them to be convenient.

data12

thank u sir
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saliim

thanck you for this information العاب فلة العاب واي فلاش

Momo Chaine

I fail to see how telling a child “no” when they are doing something dangerous is trying to force them to be convenient. Yes, children need to be engaged and given opportunities to play, learn, and mirror your activities. Learning the world does not revolve around them is also an important lesson. I don’t let my son hit his sister, or give him something else to hit. He gets told that is not appropriate, and if it continues – he gets a time out. Dropping everything to cater to your child is not doing them any favors. Learning to wait… Read more »

Mamakirua

To set the scene we have 2 wonderful, highly intelligent gorgeous boys, it is the eldest who is potentially at the top end of the gifted and talented category and with whom we have a problem. Something which started of just being taken out on me and now it appears has started at school, ( when things have been better towards me! so was a huge shock to discover) I have always set boundaries, been consistent and applied consequences for inappropriate behaviour, I have avoided getting into arguments when he has not accepted consequences. we have also rewarded good behaviour.… Read more »

Mamakirua

cont…We know he doesn’t like to try new things until he can do them perfectly (this trait has been there since he was little) – eg riding his bike, colouring in and swimming he refused to do before he could actually do it well – he does not like to fail, however he was always a very confident baby and toddler – he clapped himself at his own achievements before age 6months, as parents we have always encouraged him. I’ve taken a hard long look at the past 6 years and feel i can honestly say we have never put… Read more »

Mamakirua

cont…up to nearly 5 and the upturn in his school life he was a well behaved, lovely boy who had deep consideration for others needs and played and shared beautifully with others (always had a natural tendency to lead), now he wants to just be the boss and wants to assert his views of play on others. it is fair to say none of the problems we now have showed themselves at kindy, i can pinpoint the problems in behaviour starting to when he was bored at his first school and now it’s all escalating – we’ve agreed to the… Read more »

Mamakirua

my despair of yesterday might have been a little quick off the mark, i had been unaware of the behaviour at school, home behaviour wasn’t too bad so i was thinking all was well at school, so when we were informed we took action, re-affirmed our expectations, made it clear he was responsible for own actions and getting good reports, he was in charge whether or not he got nice things at home, or had to go without, sent him off to school with this positive but clear message he was in charge of the outcome. and he came home… Read more »

Mamakirua

the good news is continuing…

JulieMulcahy

Dear Mamakirua Thank you for sharing a little of your journey with a strong willed child. At “Parents Inc” in Auckland I notice they have speakers on that very subject(it is $10 to attend a session). Lots of parents reading your entry will nod sympathetically. You sound as though you have been a great parent – don’t see your son’s behaviours as a sign you could have “done better” – instead perhaps you could look outwards into the rich community of “experts” we have to advise and support us as we raise our families. At home, you might like to… Read more »

Mamakirua

thank you for replying to my epic account… the good news is the improvements have continued (there have been a couple blips of course (as he’s a 6 yr old boy!) but even they are better!) , and we really are back with the child he was before the introduction to schooling. and he took responsibility for this. we have always been looking at who he and that is what we want for him, however social acceptable behaviour is needed whoever the child is! No, i’ve never had any concerns with ASD. He has always been highly articulate, he has… Read more »

Shereeo

I have a 9yr old who has always been a model student at school. SHe is adopted and knows it and it has never been a problem, BUT…… About 5 months ago she came home crying and told me that her teacher had told her that she was nothing special as she was adopted. I think she misunderstood the teacher, and that what was said was that just because she is adopted makes her no more special than any other child. I pacified her but took it no further. She says she hates her teacher, wants to be taken out… Read more »

JulieMulcahy

Hi Shereeo I am sorry I have just picked up your message – espcecially as this situation sounds so miserable for you and your lovely girl. In a complex situation like this I would suggest you ring and talk to Lorraine Sievers. She is a very experieneced Family Therapist and Parenting consultant. Her contact details are – H.E.A.L .Trust P.O.Box 28706 Remuera Auckland 1541 Phone: 09 522 9444 Fax: 09 522 9044 Mobile : 0274 921962 Email : Lorraine@thehealtrust.org The H.E.A.L. Trust specialize in programmes that promote relationship attachment, healthy parenting skills and anger and trauma recovery. The cost of… Read more »

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