If you’ve been with someone for six months and you’re wondering whether you should know more by now—you’re not weird. You’re wise.
You’re past the butterflies stage. The mystery is still fun—but starting to thin out.
And if you’re sitting there thinking, “I still don’t really know how they handle stress… or whether they want kids… or why their ex is still texting them?”—you’re not overthinking.
You’re adulting. And this post is your gut check.
Because six months in, you don’t need to have it all figured out.
But you should have a few important puzzle pieces on the table.
Let’s break them down. One brutally honest category at a time.
Why Six Months Is the “Reveal-or-Run” Point
The first few months of a relationship are like a highlight reel.
You’re both showing off your best moves. Your cleanest habits. Your most charming laughs.
But around the six-month mark?
That’s when the real stuff starts showing up:
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Real quirks
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Real stress
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Real life choices that don’t always fit into the rom-com narrative
It’s not a test. But it is a checkpoint.
Because the sooner you spot a mismatch in values, communication, or long-term vision, the less likely you are to waste time on something that looks good but feels wrong.
So… What Should You Already Know By Now?
Let’s get into it. Starting with…
Personality & Communication
How They Handle Conflict
Do they shut down? Start fights and ghost for two days? Talk it out like an adult?
By now, you should have at least one example of what happens when you disagree. (If not… something’s being avoided.)
Why it matters: The honeymoon phase doesn’t last. Conflict will happen. How they handle it is a major preview of your emotional future.
Their Love Language
Are they big on physical affection? Acts of service? Words of affirmation?
This one’s not just cute—it’s crucial.
Because if you’re pouring your heart into texts and they’re waiting for a hug, you’re both going to feel unloved for no reason.
Emotional Availability
Do they open up—or do you have to read them like a locked diary in another language?
By now, you should know whether they can talk about their feelings without turning into a TikTok sound.
How They Listen
Are they truly present, or just planning their next sentence while you talk?
Tiny but telling.
Lifestyle & Values
Their Daily Habits
Do you know whether they’re a morning person or a night gremlin?
Are they tidy? Do they wash their sheets weekly—or… not?
These things seem small until you live with them.
Career Goals & Work Ethic
Are they ambitious? Settled? Still figuring it out?
There’s no “right” answer—but you should know if they have one.
Also: do they complain nonstop about their job but make zero effort to change it? Red flag.
How They Handle Money
Are they a saver? A spender? Someone who says “oh no where did it go” every Friday?
You don’t need access to their bank account. But if you’re building a future together, this matters more than you think.
Their Long-Term Vision
Kids? Marriage? Home ownership? Van life?
You don’t need a shared Pinterest board—but you do need to know if you’re walking toward the same future… or opposite directions.
Core Values (Politics, Faith, etc.)
If something would be a dealbreaker down the road, now’s the time to gently dig.
Not every difference is fatal. But some are fundamental.
Past & Present
Why Their Last Relationship Ended
Are they still blaming their ex for everything? Do they take accountability? Are they still “casually in touch” with their ex every week?
If they can’t reflect on their past without throwing someone under the bus—they probably haven’t grown from it.
Their Inner Circle
Do they have solid friends? A toxic family situation? Do they talk to anyone besides you?
Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. Who they keep close says a lot.
Baggage Check
Kids, divorce, trauma, debt, a complicated relationship with their mum?
You’re not judging—you’re just checking whether you’re in a relationship… or a rescue mission.
Mental Health Awareness
Are they self-aware? In therapy? Defensive about it all?
They don’t need to be perfect. But they do need to be honest about where they’re at—and growing.
How You Work as a Couple
How They Act Under Stress
The real version of someone shows up under pressure.
Have you seen it yet?
Do they withdraw, explode, problem-solve, or pretend nothing’s wrong?
Do They Make Space for You?
Do you feel like an equal partner—or like everything revolves around their needs?
If it’s the latter, run.
How You Handle Boredom Together
Can you sit in silence? Laugh at dumb shows? Or does it feel flat when there’s no “event” to entertain you?
True compatibility shows up when life gets quiet.
Do They Celebrate Your Wins?
If they get weird, dismissive, or competitive when something good happens to you…
Big red flag, babe.
Your person should clap when you win—even if they’re still figuring things out.
The Bonus Vibe Check
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Do you feel safe—emotionally and physically?
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Do they make you laugh?
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Do you like yourself when you’re around them?
Those aren’t extras.
Those are the foundation.
Final Thought: Don’t Settle for Potential
Six months in, you’re not asking for perfection.
You’re asking for clarity.
Because no matter how good the chemistry is—compatibility will always matter more in the long run.
So if you’re sitting there asking yourself:
“Shouldn’t I know more by now?”
That is your answer.
Now go check the vibe—and don’t ignore what it’s telling you.
