We’re told from day one that if we want our kids to succeed, we need to hammer phonics and math facts into their brains before they can even tie their shoes.
But what if the real key to raising thriving, high-achieving kids isn’t more flashcards or worksheets?
What if it’s a skill most parents have never even heard of—let alone been taught how to nurture?
Let’s Back Up: The Problem No One Talks About
We all want our kids to do well. To focus, follow through, stay calm when things don’t go their way. But let’s be honest—how many of us are watching our kids spiral over homework, fall apart when routines change, or crumble at the first sign of a challenge?
There’s a missing piece in most conversations about success in life.
It’s something that sits quietly behind how kids manage pressure, think through problems, and bounce back from setbacks. It’s not just academic—and it’s definitely not taught in most classrooms.
THIS Is the Skill That Sets Kids Up for Success
Forget for a second about reading levels and multiplication tables.
What really determines whether a child can succeed in school—and in life—isn’t just what they know.
It’s how they handle what they don’t know.
It’s whether they can stay calm under pressure.
Whether they can hold a plan in their mind long enough to follow through.
Whether they can shift gears when life doesn’t go according to plan (which is always).
Sound familiar?
Now here’s where it gets interesting.
Experts in child development have a name for this skillset. And research shows it might be more predictive of long-term success than IQ or test scores.
We’ll get to that in a minute.
They call it executive function.
Why Executive Function Is the Real MVP Skill
Executive function is the skill that helps kids:
- Follow through on instructions without turning into gremlins.
- Keep their cool when their LEGO castle collapses.
- Remember what they’re supposed to be doing… mid-task.
Without it? You get meltdowns, homework battles, endless reminders, and a child who looks “difficult” when really, they’re just overloaded.
Research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child shows that strong executive function is linked to better grades, stronger mental health, more stable friendships, and even higher earning potential as adults.
So yeah—it’s kind of a big deal.
And the kicker?
It’s not fixed.
It’s teachable.
And once you know what to look for, you can start building it today.
What Executive Function Actually Includes
Here’s the breakdown:
1. Working Memory – Your kid’s ability to remember the steps to brush their teeth without asking 14 times.
2. Inhibitory Control – That crucial pause button before they punch their sibling or blurt out something wildly inappropriate.
3. Cognitive Flexibility – Their ability to roll with it when plans change (or when their YouTube app crashes).
These aren’t school subjects. But they’re the reason some kids can sit down and work through a math problem while others crumble before they even start.
Can You Build It? Yes. Should You? Absolutely.
Executive function isn’t something your child either has or doesn’t. It’s more like a mental muscle—and you can train it.
Here’s how:
1. Let Them Play Building blocks, role play, puzzles—these aren’t just fun. They’re brain workouts. Kids learn planning, memory, and how to cope when the tower falls. Time Magazine calls free play one of the best tools for boosting resilience and problem-solving.
2. Give Them a Routine (That Actually Sticks) Consistent schedules give kids a sense of safety and predictability. That helps them learn how to manage time, transition smoothly, and eventually run their own show.
3. Teach Them to Breathe (Literally) Mindfulness isn’t just for yoga mums. Teaching your kid to pause, breathe, and reset helps them stay in control. WIRED found mindfulness boosts attention and cuts tantrums in even the tiniest humans.
4. Show Them How It’s Done Ever forget your phone, keys, and lunch in the same 30 seconds? Tell your kid. Then show them how you fix it. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need to see what bouncing back looks like.
This Is Bigger Than Just School
Executive function doesn’t just affect report cards. It shapes how kids handle friendships, frustrations, and failure.
And here’s the kicker: if they don’t learn these skills when they’re young? They’ll have to crash-learn them later—usually when life’s already throwing punches.
According to Frontiers in Psychology, weak executive function in childhood is tied to higher rates of anxiety, depression, risky behaviors, and even unemployment later in life.
Translation? Don’t wait.
Final Thoughts: Put Down the Flashcards for a Second. Build the Foundation.
Look, this isn’t about ditching reading or maths. It’s about realizing that without executive function, even the smartest kid in the class can crash and burn.
So start small. Play more. Breathe together. Stick to routines. Talk it out.
Because when we help our kids build executive function, we’re not just setting them up for school.
We’re setting them up for life.
