Let’s be honest: kids can be absolutely brutal. Especially when it comes to names. So when one mum realised her daughter might be stuck with a last name that’s basically a walking punchline, she decided to do something most parents wouldn’t even dare consider — change it.
In a now-viral post on Reddit’s r/namenerds (because yes, there’s a subreddit for literally everything), one mum opened up about a pretty awkward family dilemma that has the internet absolutely divided.
“I have an 8-year-old daughter and our last name is Dick,” she begins. “My husband said he was teased a lot as a kid and would like to change her last name.”
Cue the collective gulp from everyone who just flashed back to their own schoolyard trauma.
Apparently, the couple never changed their daughter’s surname when they first got married, but now Dad’s haunted by memories of being the punchline in every classroom joke and doesn’t want his kid going through the same thing.
Now, if you’re thinking “It’s just a name, how bad can it be?”—you clearly didn’t survive Year 7 with a surname that doubles as slang for male anatomy.
And Reddit? Oh, Reddit had thoughts.
Some people totally got where the parents were coming from. One user chimed in:
“My surname was Butts. You’d be shocked how creative kids can get. I’d 100% change it if I could go back.”
Another wrote:
“It’s not overprotective, it’s realistic. Kids will hone in on anything that sounds remotely dirty or weird. Don’t let her be the punchline.”
Others, though, weren’t so convinced. A few users argued that shielding kids from all possible teasing is a losing battle.
“You can change her last name, sure. But kids will always find something. Glasses. Clothes. Height. No one gets out unscathed.”
Another comment pointed out that the teasing often says more about the bullies than the name:
“Honestly, it’s not always about the name itself. Some kids just get targeted no matter what.”
Still, the original poster seems genuinely torn, asking if it’s “weird” to make such a big decision now that her daughter is already 8. And that sparked a whole new round of debate.
One commenter pointed out the emotional side of things:
“That’s a long time for her to identify with her name. Are you sure she’d even want to change it? This should 100% be her decision too.”
Another added:
“It’s not just a name, it’s HER name. If she doesn’t mind, maybe it’s worth leaving it be. If she hates it, then yeah – give her the choice.”
And let’s be real, we’ve all seen those stories of kids growing up to become, say, Dr. Richard Dick – and owning it with pride. But for every one of those, there’s a childhood filled with “Hey Dickhead!” shouted across the playground.
This story also sparked a resurfacing of other brutal name tales from the subreddit’s archives. One memorable thread asked, “Do kids really get teased for their names these days?” — and the replies were as tragic as they were hilarious.
From kids named “Gaylord” and “Fanny,” to surnames like “Cockburn” and “Wiener,” it turns out yes, yes they absolutely do.
The most upvoted comment of all?
“My teacher’s last name was Boner. She changed it before the school year even started.”
Smart woman.
Back to the original post, though: what’s a parent to do? Change the name and risk confusing their child’s sense of identity? Or keep it, cross their fingers, and hope the next generation of kids has matured past willy jokes?
Tough call.
Whatever happens, the one thing this mum deserves is credit for actually caring. It might seem like a small thing to some, but if you’ve ever cried in the school bathroom because of a name you didn’t choose — this hits different.
And in a world where people name their kids X Æ A-12, maybe the most loving thing you can do as a parent is save them from becoming a meme.
