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In September our family is taking the trip of a lifetime or at least I am hoping it will be. When we talked about the possibility last year we received a number of different reactions from people. There were those who without directly saying so thought it was one of those ideas that would never eventuate, then there were those who resentfully said “well, it’s alright for some”, and then there were those who were genuinely as enthusiastic and excited as we were at the prospect.

I acknowledge that we are indeed very fortunate to be able to afford such a luxury, but I figure as with sport, you are a long time retired and in life you are an even longer time dead. The genesis of the trip transpired when a friend of mine and myself had a real scare. A routine check up resulted in both of us having a melanoma removed and some very anxious moments.. The specialist suggested we buy a Lotto ticket; we haven’t won Lotto yet but are pretending we have and spending like we might, and making the most of this short but precious life.

And so two families, our friends with three daughters and our family of four boys will soon be embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. It is an expensive exercise and I know that both families have made an extraordinary effort to save. As I keep reminding our sons, if you want to save you simply don’t spend. No takeaways, no new sports equipment, no flash new clothes – in fact, having to think twice about all your general expenditure has been a real learning curve and tested us many times.

It has meant the house won’t get painted, the driveway where the water pipe burst won’t get resealed – but as I keep reminding myself it will be worth it in the end.

For me personally I am looking forward to some really great family adventures; experiences that the boys will remember for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately John won’t be able to join us for the whole trip due to work commitments, so I do have some trepidation as to how I will manage for 8 weeks on my own with four boisterous lads.

Life is a series of ups and downs (a bit like a rollercoaster) and as my husband said at my 40th a few years ago – “Thanks, Susan it’s been a hell of a ride!”

Five years ago I would never have believed that this trip would have been possible. In 2000 John and I were living in Remuera keeping up with the Jones’s – no; in actual fact I probably thought we were the Jones!  I had been retired for five years and had four beautiful young sons.We had bought our dream home and John’s business was booming. Our future was secure or so we thought; so I concentrated my efforts on being a full time mum and was heavily involved in a number of different organisations that fulfilled me. It gave me great pleasure and satisfaction that I could use my good fortune to benefit others.

Then out of the blue (although in hindsight that was a little naive) our life crumbled before our eyes. My husband’s business went into receivership. His business had been driven into financial ruin by someone else’s incompetence and dishonesty. I write this somewhat dispassionately now but I can assure you it has taken a long time to recover from the bitterness, anger and hurt I felt previously.

Right in the middle of all this my mother passed away, so you can imagine that I was emotionally all over the place. Both John and I were putting on a brave front when really all we wanted to do was disappear off the face of the earth. But four young children who were totally unaware of the situation meant that life had to carry on and they were what got us through.

I look back now and can honestly say that if that is the worst thing that ever happens to us then we are truly blessed. Comments that were made at the time like “at least you have your health and happiness” seemed so trite because I can assure you there was little happiness then! But in many ways although we lost a lot we gained so much more from the experience that I have only started to appreciate.

It forced us to look at our priorities and made me realise:

That success is not driven or measured by your material possessions but by your values.

That health is something we shouldn’t take for granted because without it you have nothing.

That you never know what is around the corner and when you yourself might be the one that needs to ask for help.

That your true friends will always be there and love you for who you are and not what you are or what you have.

That the foundation of a home is based on love and not bricks and mortar.

And yes, I acknowledge that we are indeed lucky to be going on an adventure of a lifetime, and that Michael Cullen would prefer that we save our nest egg for retirement – but as I said, you just never know what’s around the corner.

 

Disclaimer: the views expressed in this article are the personal views of Susan Devoy and are not necessarily those of Kiwi Families Ltd.

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Dame Susan Devoy is New Zealand's Race Relations Commissioner, and a World Open champion squash player. She's the former CEO of Sport Bay of Plenty and super-mum to four boys.

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